A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
