Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
