I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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