Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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