He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
