i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
