He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
