i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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