I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
