the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
