If that was your dad, he is hot
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize