There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
