She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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