I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
never play flip cup with pint glasses
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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