i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
