Someone shit on the floor
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
