You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
