She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
