Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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