Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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