We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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