the new term for farting is butt boxing.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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