we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
