nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
