I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
