these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
