Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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