We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
