eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
