I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
