the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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