Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
