I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
