Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
