Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
