that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
