U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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