You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
