I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
