do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
These tits shall not be calmed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
