12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
