I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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