what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
