The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
