My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
