he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
