Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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