I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
True strength comes from lack of pants
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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