[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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