Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
